What's Going On Here?
by RoyalFanatic
Summary: Offically On Hiatus. Crazy Hand is tired of being the crazy one, so he invents a machine to make the entire world crazy as well! It's up to three heroes, each who lost a sense instead of their sanity, to save the day! K plus for random randomness.
1. The Insanity Begins!

**My first fiction in the humor category…this calls for a celebration! XD Anyway, here with me are Falco, Fox, and Mr. Game and Watch! Ending the chapters are Marth, Mario, Jigglypuff, and Kirby!**

**Falco: You're actually trying humor? Good luck!**

**I got the idea from a weird glitch that happened while playing SSBM. This little glitch will be a part of the insanity; I'll point it out when the time comes. And I took pictures of it, so if and when I find out how to get the pictures on my computer and how to send them to people and such, give me your email (NO I WON'T STALK YOU!) and I'll send you teh pics.**

**Fox: Is there an actual plot to this? **

Of course there is! Silly little Fox. Yes, I know I have a whole ton of stories to focus on and stuff, but I want to see how funny my humor is in the eyes of the fanfiction public. This won't have as much focus as my fantasy series, in which I'm still stuck at…but it'll have it's occasional updates.

**Mr. G&W: RoyalFanatic doesn't own us or SSBM in general, but she does own the plot…however screwed up it may be, and she does own the randomness that will happen.**

**Away first chapter!**

I'VE FINALLY DONE IT!" Crazy Hand screamed, laughing in glee. Which is odd because how can a hand laugh?

Nevertheless he had done it. He had done it indeed. He had finished his greatest masterpiece.

His Insano-Matic-2862 to the fourth power.

"At long last, now everyone in the world will be crazy! And I'll be the sane one! Instead of being the IN-sane one!" Crazy Hand shouted, clearly not knowing that only novice villains or those who are just retarted are the ones who actually shout their plan into the air and making sure everyone hears them

But then again, Crazy Hand is retarted, so that entire after sentence was completely useless.

"Now, all I have to do is turn it on, and then I'LL BE THE SANEST IN THE WORLD! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHACKCOUGHWHEEZE!" Crazy Hand shouted. Yes…he did shout hack, cough, and wheeze and no, he actually didn't hack, cough, or wheeze.

Which only proves that he's retarted; in which he is.

Crazy Hand pushes the button to turn it on, and it turns on!

Something happens.

Meanwhile, in Smash Mansion…

Mewtwo could feel it. He could defiantly feel it. The gas-like emotion-like object that was sanity…he could feel it flying away.

Far away.

Into outer space far away.

Ness could feel it too. The sanity leaving the world, and the insanity from the strange machine that they do not know about taking its place.

Nevertheless, it had come, and it had done its duty.

Yet…as everyone began to lose their sanity (if they had any) and began to act like animals, inanimate objects, and/or pie, three unlikely people didn't lose their sanity at all!

These three are what this epic quest will call the heroes!

And their names are: Mario! Marth! And Ganondorf! Ha! Fooled you!

Yes, Mario, who was sleeping at the time, woke up to find a sharp knife implanted into his right hand; besides the bed, Young Link, who was holding said knife, was laughing at said plumber wickedly.

"DO YOU NOT FEEL THE PAIN?" Young Link asked. For that was Young Link's plan! He had decided to go into Mario's room and cause him pain! By sticking his knife that he used in battle into Mario's flesh!

"Wait…isn't that the Kokiri Sword?" Mario asked.

"Kokiri Sword, knife, same difference," Young Link replied. "Now, DO YOU NOT FEEL THE PAIN?"

"Actually, no," Mario said honestly. Which is true; despite the Kokiri Sword, knife, being embedded in the center of Mario's hand, Mario did not feel the pain of a thousand scorpions, or however hurtful it should be.

"Oh," Young Link said, pulling the knife, Kokiri Sword, out of the plumber's hand. "Well then…I'm going to go eat lamps. LateR!"

"Okay…" Mario muttered. "I wonder what's going on."

Mario walked downstairs…and gasped in surprise.

IT WAS CHAOS! Young Link was eating a lamp, Bowser was pretending to be a couch, Falcon was pretending to be a Grandfather Clock, and Luigi was chewing on the ceiling! Other random smashers that don't include Roy, the Ice Climbers, Peach, and Link were running around screaming jibberish in Japanese.

"Everyone's acting insane!" Mario cried, as if he had not known this, which he didn't.

"You said it!" A voice cried from the kitchen. Mario entered said kitchen, where he found the other two heroes!

Yes, Ganondorf and Marth were there; the former wearing dark sunglasses that had a sticky note saying "I'm blind; fear me" on them and was walking around with a stick, and the latter having a most perturbed face as Roy jumped onto the counter and began to do the Chicken Dance.

"BUT WHY?" Mario cried, throwing his hand to the sky. "Why is everyone insane? And why can't I feel things? And why are you blind?"

"It must be because of an evil novice villain!" Ganondorf shrieked. Marth, after finally beating Roy to submission, grabbed a sticky note and wrote "DUH!" on it.

"You can't speak, can you?" Mario asked Marth. Said prince took previously written sticky note and shoved it into said plumber's face.

"Which means since we are the only three who still have our sanity; WE must be the ones to go forward on an epic quest and stop this novice villain!" Ganondorf proclaimed.

"But wait a minuet! Technically, speaking isn't a sense! Ganondorf and I lose a sense, but Marth doesn't?" Mario asked.

Marth grabbed a notebook, a feathered quill and an ink bottle, and wrote in said notebook: 'Technically, I lost my sense of taste, and since we all know people can live without taste, I also lost my voice. IT SUCKS!'

"I feel your pain," Mario said, wincing. "Wait…actually, that's not true, since I can't feel anything, so HA!"

"ENOUGH!" Ganondorf proclaimed. "We must get along, because we are the heroes! So GET ALONG!"

"Okay," Mario said. Marth, because he couldn't speak, nodded.

"Good," Ganondorf said. "And now, we must first head to Master Hand's office! There we should be able to find who rid the world of its sanity."

"Okay," Mario said. Marth, because he couldn't speak, nodded.

"TO MASTER HAND'S OFFICE!" Ganondorf shouted.

"Ok—"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

And so, the three heroes headed to Master Hand's office, ignoring the Ice Climbers, who were chanting something about killing mushrooms, fruit juice, and cake, Peach, who began to shout about creating a turnip/vegetable/whatever you want to call them army, and Link, who was running around the place in his underwear. Ewww…

The heroes do reach the office, but THERE'S NO MASTER HAND!

"OH NO! THERE'S NO MASTER HAND!" Mario screamed. "THE MANSION WILL NOW BE DESTROYED FOR SURE!"

"Not yet!" Ganondorf heroically proclaimed. He seems to be proclaiming a lot, isn't he? I think this is the third time. "WE WILL PROTECT THE MANSION!"

Marth, writing in the notebook he carried around with him, using the feathered quill and ink bottle he carried around with him, wrote: 'Wait…aren't we going to stop the novice villain? And since when did YOU become leader?'

"Because I'M the ONLY ONE HERE WHO DOESN'T HAVE "M" in my name!" Ganondorf proclaimed. "And oh yah…the villain…hmm…WHAT DO WE DO?"

"Do you think the novice villain kidnapped Master Hand?" Mario asked. "THE HORROR!"

'But Master Hand's not a kid.' Wrote Marth. 'Shouldn't it be the novice villain HANDnapped Master Hand?'

"MORE HORROR!" Mario cried, not realizing the fact that the mute prince just PWNed him in the nicest way possible.

"Then let's get out of here!" Ganondorf proclaimed. "We shall head into the city! Maybe there we can find out more about this novice villain and why he handnapped Master Hand! TO THE CITY!"

And so our heroes headed off to the city.

**Kirby: That ends chapter one!**

**Mario: OH MY GOSH! Things are going bad! THE HORROR!**

**Marth: Makes me wonder what this "epic quest" will be…**

**Jigglypuff: Once again, this is RoyalFanatic's first SSBM humor fic, so please go easy. Review!**


	2. The Entire World Is Nuts?

**People laughed! My humor IS good in some of the eyes of the fanfiction public! WooT!**

**Falco: Not bad!**

**Fox: So, what's next? **

Each chapter will be divided into three parts, for the most part; perhaps four at most; our heroes, the insane smashers, our novice villain, and, on occasions, our heroes again. This pattern, however, can be randomized in any way, shape, or form…and I might not even stick to it with other chapters, so yeah…XD

**Mr. G&W: RoyalFanatic doesn't own us or SSBM in general, but she does own the plot…yeah, there's a plot (GASP!), our mansion, Smash City, and the entire Smash Island in general, and other random things like Crazy Hand's machine and stuff.**

**And just to clarify, because I have no life, "" means someone's taking, '' means Marth's writing, and so on.**

**  
Fox: AWAY Chapter 2!**

The heroes marched valiantly towards Smash City, in the hopes of finding who this novice villain might be…

Okay…so maybe they didn't march valiantly…but they did walk to the city. Because Ganondorf, despite being blind, knew EXCATLY where he was going! And he was leading the way, despite being blind! Mario was awed; how could the blind person be the one to lead? It was awe inspiring! Marth, on the other hand, wasn't impressed, knowing this was already the greudo's fifth time he was blinded.

When they reached the city, Mario let out a gasp.

The city was destroyed! And the insane citizens were parading around the ruinous buildings, screaming gibberish in Japanese.

Jigglypuff, Pichu, Fox, and Falco flew into the scene on an airplane, and also spoke gibberish in Japanese.

"What in all that is sane and right are they talking about?" Mario asked, throwing his hands into the sky again.

Marth shook his head, pulled out his only way of talking with his fellow heroes, and wrote: 'You don't want to know…'

"OF COURSE NOT!" Ganondorf proclaimed. "WE are here to find out if we can find out about the novice villain and Master Hand!"

"But wow, not only is the mansion insane…but so is the city?" Mario asked. "Does that mean, like the entire island is insane? Or the entire world even?"

'For a novice, he's pretty good.' Wrote Marth. 'Are you sure we can't bump him up to "Intermediate villain" or something?'

"NO!" Ganondorf shrieked. "I KNOW he's a NOVICE! He's a novice!"

'Whatever.' This he wrote on a sticky note, sticking said sticky note on the lens that didn't have the "I'm blind; fear me" message on it.

"So…onto our mission. SEARCH THE CITY!" Ganondorf screamed. Mario skipped off; Marth smacked Ganondorf with his notebook before trudging off in another direction. Ganondorf walked up to people and began asking for information.

_Back At Smash Mansion…_

Roy was bored…

He was very, very bored…

He decided he had to do something to rid himself of this boredom.

So he set Yoshi on fire.

"Fi…fir…fire's…co…coo…cool," He said, pronouncing each word as if he was two or something. He watched in joy as Yoshi ran around, lit and screaming Japanese gibberish.

But then all the random smashers that exclude Fox, Falco, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Peach, the Ice Climbers, Roy, and Link began screaming gibberish in Chinese, so Yoshi was ignored.

Mewtwo was in the weight room, struggling to lift a weight with his mind. It was very heavy though…the psychic cat was sweating like a psychic dog, and was even panting too.

Kirby, who was watching Mewtwo, frowned. "You know, that thing is only one pound."

"I know," Mewtwo said. "It's so heavy…I CAN'T DO IT! I DON'T DESERVE MY TITLE AS WEIGHT-CREATURE THINGY!"

"You don't have a title as Weight-Creature Thingy," Kirby said. "It's Weight-Thingy Creature, you dumbhead."

"Oh…" Mewtwo said, staring at the wall. Then he attempted to life the one pound weight again.

_In Location X?X?X?_

"Crazy Hand! Your are a disgraces to the Hand family…s!" Master Hand, in his hand form, screeched. He was a giant right hand that had a glove on…wait, you already know this. "Ands whys is this happenings? Why can'ts I not not spe…talk pro-pr-pro-right?"

"IT'S THE INSANITY, DEAR BROTHER!" Crazy Hand shrieked. "Hey! I just noticed there aren't a lot of "said's", and "asks" and stuff. Oh well, "said" and "ask" are BORING!"

"Whys did you…you…you! Why did you! Why do this?" Master Hand asked.

"Poopie! There aren't supposed to be anymore "asks"!" Crazy Hand shouted. "And why did I do this? BECAUSE I WANNA BE THE SANE ONE! ME ME ME ME ME MEEEE!"

"You know, that's totally novice of you," Master Hand observed. "I mean, why would the villain _want_ to let the world know of his plan?"

"IT ADDS TO THE STORYLINE!" Crazy Hand shouted. "Besides, I'M RETARTED!"

Yes, Crazy is retarted. But since Master Hand is insane, he did not know. Poor him.

_Back with our heroes..._

"It's worse than I feared!" Ganondorf cried when he met up with Mario and Marth. How he knew the two were there, though, is a mystery. Like if Mr. Game and Watch is just talking or constantly cursing when he moves/jumps/attacks. And if Mario really does eat the cakes Peach makes for him. And if Sheik really does have a gender. "There's no hope left for this city!"

'You just realized this now?' Marth wrote, looking ready to smack his head against the wall. 'Of course there is no hope for this city! Did anyone find out about Master Hand?'

But of course, since Ganondorf couldn't read, and Mario was agonizing over the lost of the city, Marth's words were left alone. Much like the socks that disappear. And the monster in the closet.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT MASTER HAND?" Mario screeched/asked.

"Master Hand?" Ganondorf asked. Marth smacked said greudo with the notebook. Then he began writing in said notebook.

'That's the reason we were here, remember? I couldn't find anything…'

"Neither could I…and I feel so—wait…I can't feel!" Mario said. "But yeah, nothing here…"

Link ran by in his underwear and holding a paper in his hand. Upon passing by the heroes, he dropped said paper and continued on his way.

"What's this?" Ganondorf asked upon hearing the sound of the paper drop onto the ground, which is actually a very good sound, by the way.

"It's paper!" Mario said in reply. "It says…"GO CHECK OUT THE CRAZED WORLD, MAN! IT ROXS! Link." …the entire world _has_ gone insane? WE MUST CHECK IT OUT!"

But no matter where the two went, it was the same situation. Whether it was Hyrule…or the Mushroom Kingdom…or Onett…or anywhere else on the planet, it was the same thing:

The entire world HAD gone nuts!

"So, let's get everything straight. Marth, can you write this down?" Ganondorf asked. The mute prince nodded. "Okay. 1. The entire world is insane. 2. Master Hand is handnapped. 3. There's a novice villain involved in this somehow. 4. Only the three of us can turn everything back to normal. That's sums everything up so far, right?"

"Should," Mario said.

'At least, for now…' Marth wrote.

"Well, uh…whatever will be will be, right?" Mario asked, noticing what the mute prince wrote.

"What did Marth write?" Ganondorf asked.

"At least for now," Mario replied. "But…things can't get worse, can they?"

'After saying things like that, they usually do…' Marth wrote. 'Good going...'

"Thanks!" Mario said, beaming.

'I'm being sarcastic.'

"Oh…"

"We need more clues!" Ganondorf proclaimed. "But where can we find them? Hmmm…"

"Hmm…" Mario said.

'Don't expect anything.'

And so, the three heroes pondered…and pondered…

…and pondered.

Until…inspiration hit them!

YES! It was perfect!

"LET'S GO TO THE ZOO!" Ganondorf and Mario both shouted. "You can find _anything_ at a zoo!"

'Then let's go!' Marth wrote.

And so our heroes headed off to the zoo.

**Mario: End of chapter!**

**Kirby: Yayz for teh zoo! I wonder what you guys will find there. **

Marth: Only RoyalFanatic knows. But the rest of the world, the readers at least, will know eventually.

**Jigglypuff: Until that time comes, REVIEW!**


	3. Zoo Fun And More!

**Here's chapter three! Yay!  
**

**Falco: It's about time too!**

**Fox: What's up with the not so quick update? **

Expect more of them, folks. This fic won't be as important as my others, and will most likely be updated when A. I've been playing video games for too long and want to get back into writing or B. I have Writer's Block for my other fics. This time I can say an update is because of reason A.

**Mr. G&W: RoyalFanatic doesn't own us or SSBM in general, but she does own the plot…(Oh wow, there IS a plot!), our mansion, Smash City, and the entire Smash Island in general, and other random things like Crazy Hand's machine and stuff.**

**Falco: GO CHAPTER uh…3! Yeah, that's it. Chapter 3!**

It was a three day trek to the Smash Island Zoo, in which our heroes bravely marched…or walked…or ambled…or ran…or…well, you decide how they moved.

But after those three days came and went…

"Wait one second," Mario muttered, stopping. The three were on a tan path which was surrounded by plains, and flowers, and plants. "Don't you think it would be better to go through each day rather than skip them?"

"NO!" Ganondorf shouted. "Not this time! Not after…_that incident_…Don't you remember? It only happened a day ago!"

"Huh? Oh yah! _That incident_!" Mario said. He shuddered. "That was not fun!"

'Now you finally understand how lucky you are.' Marth wrote. 'You don't have to worry about _that_ ever time you leave the mansion!'

"How do they do it, though?" Ganondorf asked. "How do they all manage to gather in one place so fast? And the screaming and shouting…so much screaming and shouting…"

"There were a million of them…" Mario muttered. "Maybe even a billion…or a trillion… …so…many…fangirls…"

_--Flashback--_

_As our three heroes marched along the path, a squeal of joy emitted from behind them. Stunned, Mario and Marth turned, only to find a random teenage girl standing behind them, about a few feet away._

_Marth paled; he knew that girl…she was a fangirl; not to mention that in the sane world, she was one of his. Expecting the worse, he prepared to run away when the girl shrieked:_

"_I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! IT'S MARIO!"_

"_AND GANONDORF!" A second fangirl, also appearing out of nowhere. This girl, Marth noticed, was, in the sane world, a fan of Link._

_Mario paled upon seeing more girls appear out of nowhere. When the entire field behind the three was filled with insane, rampaging teenage girls, all who seemed to be fans of Mario and Ganondorf, they charged. And they were screaming as they charged._

"_IT'S GANONDORF! IT'S REALLY GANONDORF"_

"_Mario's moustache is SOOOO hot!"_

"_Dark skin is DEFINANTLY the new IT!"_

"_I want Mario's hat!" _

Before the unable-to-feel plumber and blind king knew it, the girls had surrounded the two, making escape impossible. As for Marth, he was pushed out of the circle, and scorned at! While upset that these ladies had made fun of him, he was more overjoyed with the fact that in this insane world, all the popular guys had NO fangirls, and all the unpopular guys had ALL the fangirls.

_It was a most torturous hour, in which the girls had snatched clothing, poked at the poor two heroes, and shrieked so loudly that they were sure they would lose their sense of hearing as well!_

_Fortunately, they didn't. And after one hour, the girls left. As they ran off, they were still shrieking._

"_I touched Ganondorf's sword!" _

"I got Mario's hat!"

"Well I got Mario's gloves!"

"I have Ganondorf's boot!"

They vanished as quickly as they appeared, and poor Marth was trampled. But all the anger for the ladies vanished (almost as quickly as they themselves did) when the mute prince turned to look at his fellow heroes. Both had looked as if they had been caught in a hurricane/tornado/earthquake/any other natural disaster that can cause damage, and was mutely laughing at them for the next hour.

_--End Flashback—_

'You should truly be glad you guys are not popular. Having to experience _that_ over and over and over and over and over again is painful!'

"I guess," Mario said. "Hey look! We're at the zoo!"

Sure enough, right in front of them was Smash Island Zoo.

_Back At The Mansion…_

Mewtwo laughed in success! He had done it! He had finally done it! He lifted the one pound weight!

Kirby, who had been watching, then grew bored of watching and began doing the Macarena, clapped for the psychic pokemon.

"YES! I hath lifted thy weight!" Mewtwo cried. "Now I may keepth my title AS WEIGHT-CREATURE THINGY!"

"You don't have a title as Weight-Creature Thingy," Kirby said. "It's Weight-Thingy Creature, you dumbhead. And now I will go call all the other smashers dumbheads."

Kirby left. Mewtwo, however, ignored this, as he turned to the next object he had to lift. Surely he could do it!

He couldn't…

No matter how hard he tried…

He couldn't lift it…

Now Jigglypuff entered the weight room, and stared at Mewtwo.

She stared and stared and stared.

"Mewtwo, are you trying and failing to pick up a stuffed teddy bear?" She asked, almost sounding as if she was still sane.

"Of course I am!" Mewtwo cried in response. "But the accursed thing is OBVIOUSLY filled with metal stuffing!"

"I SO TOTALLY KNOW!" Jigglypuff screamed in agreement. Guess she's not as sane as we thought she was…oh well. "IT'S A SO TOTALLY, LIKE, A CONSPIRACY, LIKE!"

Mewtwo nodded in agreement; then began trying again…and failing…

In the kitchen, the Ice Climbers were holding really sharp knives, waiting…

For what, however, they didn't know.

"What's going on?" Dr. Mario asked, walking into the kitchen backwards. Roy jumped out of nowhere, jumped onto the table, and began to do the Chicken Dance.

"I don't know," The Ice Climbers said in unison. "I'm here waiting for something, but I don't know what."

"Wow…you guys sure had practiced speaking a lot," Dr. Mario said. "Well, have fun with that. I'm outta here!" He moonwalked out of the kitchen.

Then Link ran by in his underwear. Ewww…

"THAT'S IT!" The Ice Climbers shrieked. "WE MUST HURT YOUNG LINK!"

They dropped the knives, grabbed their hammers, and ran off.

_Back At The Zoo…_

Mario and Marth were quick to notice that the animals had also gone insane. Tigers pretended they were lions, while lions pretended they were tigers, not to mention the most savage animals pretended they were NOT savage while the non-savage animals pretended they were MOST savage. Ganondorf, since he was blind, did not see this; nor did he care.

"SPILT UP AND SEARCH!" Ganondorf proclaimed.

"We don't have to…" Mario muttered, pointing ahead. "There's Crazy Hand! And he has Master Hand with him!"

Sure enough, straight ahead of them, cooing to the insane monkeys was Crazy Hand. And tied to a leash being held by the lefty glove was Master Hand.

"CRAZY HAND!" Ganondorf proclaimed.

"Huh? W—what?" Crazy paled upon seeing the three heroes…wait, can he pale? He can now! "Y—y—y—you guys! You're…still…sane?"

'You mean YOU did this?' Marth "asked", writing in his notebook.

"Yeah! You mean YOU did this?" Mario asked, so Ganondorf had an idea of what the mute prince was saying.

"OF COURSE I DID!" Crazy shouted. "I want to be the sane one! ME! So I created a machine to turn everyone and everything else INsane! So I'd be the sane one!"

"I told you he was a novice villain!" Ganondorf said. "And we won't let you get away with this!"

"Then try to find me!" Crazy shrieked, the shrieking making Mario and Ganondorf flinch. Master Hand then realized that three of his smashers were there!

"Yous musts stops hims!" The right hand cried. "Finds locat—locat—lo—place X?X?X? and saves me!"

Right after Master said this, Crazy teleported away, taking Master with him.

"You got it!" Mario cried into the sky. "Marth, get that down!"

The mute prince stared at Mario, upset at being ordered around, but still, took the notebook, opened it to the list of event thingys and wrote '5. Novice villain confirmed, and is Crazy Hand. 6. Crazy wants to be the sanest, so he invented a machine; must destroy this machine. 7. Crazy handnapped Master. And 8. Crazy and Master are located in Location X?X?X?'

"Looking good," Mario said. "Now what?"

"We must find Crazy Hand's Location!" Ganondorf proclaimed. "Let us leave the zoo!"

They left the zoo, and headed off into the sunset.

**Kirby: That ends the third chapter!**

**  
Mario: We found clues! I knew you could find anything at the zoo!**

**Marth: We just need to find Location X?X?X? and we'll be set. But I doubt we'll find it that easily…**

**Jigglypuff: We'll find out in the next update. Till then, review!**


End file.
